i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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