I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
