She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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