at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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