This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
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It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
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And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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