I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I checked into jail on foursquare
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Randomize
