R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
