seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
