Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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