Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
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you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
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Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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