I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize