put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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