I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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