can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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