I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You're like the curious george of whores
We talked him into tasing himself.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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