Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i out mim tonsoeep
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