Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
