I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
