I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
