but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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