I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
