Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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