I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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