MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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