plz talk dirty to me
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
