No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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