So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize