you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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