maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize