i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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