**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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