Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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