worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
