Redeem this text for a blowjob
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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