I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Use "feeling words"
Yay
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
