I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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