You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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