he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
