I met the friendliest cop last night
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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