Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize