Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
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His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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