Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
