forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
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I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
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The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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