I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
