I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
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He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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