just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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