There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
