so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
