Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
