So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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