Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
