At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
