Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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