she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize