nut hugger
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
