How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
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I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
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I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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