plz talk dirty to me
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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